Standing In Place

It’s been some time since I’ve written… much has changed and yet some things have remained the same…

Am I the only one that feels life is often two steps forward and then two steps back, so that you end up in the same spot? But the cool thing is … I don’t feel like I’m in a rut… I’ve accepted that it will take a little bit more time as I await a few dreams to come true…

Kind of cool that my perspective is positive and no longer dependent upon what’s going on around me. I’d consider that growth and worthy of kudos; YAY me!

Update on me –

  • still working on my splits (the left is darn near touching the ground – the right one though is still in progress. Whew!)
  • still saving money and I’m happy to report I’ve made significant progress – I am more than halfway to my set goal!
  • still not married to my “one” but I have made peace with that. I trust that when the timing is right, it will be right.

And then there was some new –

  • went snowboarding for the first time in January… lot’s of fun but good grief also lots of work!
  • scheduled to go paragliding at the end of this month
  • buying a house this summer

So although there hasn’t been too many drastic changes in life – I’m feeling pretty good about me and where I am… I guess you can say I’ve found my sweet spot! Life is good and I’m grateful for that! But should I start to get a bit too comfortable and forget to keep chasing my dreams… this image reminds me stay focused and driven:

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Until next time!

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

 

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2017… what a year…

I began the year sick and I’m finishing the year… you guessed it – sick… SMH! Sounds like not much has changed – and yet so much has DRASTICALLY changed!

During these last 12 months I have grown in many immeasurable ways, but I will try to quantify them here:

  • I am able to do a left split
  • I climbed Stone Mountain in 24minutes & felt strong
  • Although I’ve been a dancer my whole life, this was the year I danced with full abandon & a smile
  • I returned to work full time for the school system, so that I’ll have predictable income to reach my savings goal!
  • There was local and domestic travel (fun times)
  • I reconciled and strengthened several family bonds
  • There was a slew of dance rehearsals for my various dance performances
  • I began building my own comunidad (community) and it feels awesome to have the support (no longer wandering alone (except when I choose to))
  • And there was a TON of concerts, broadway shows, and movies. Just a few of my favorites were: Movies– Wonder Woman, Leap, The Star, / Broadway– Annie, Finding Neverland, / Concerts– For King & Country, Anthony David, & Fantasia

Through it all… what I take away from this year is a newfound and hard-earned love and appreciation of who I am. I walk with an air of confidence in my capabilities and my purpose. However, thanks to all of the struggles, that confidence doesn’t spill over into the realm of arrogance. I will never forget the struggles for they keep me humble…

There’s something to be said for the season when I women truly comes to understand her value and her worth. The essence of Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman poem captures what I’m referring to – this place of knowing who you are so intimately that it radiates for others to see… I am in that season…

Gone are the days of running from anxiety and hiding in the shadows of depression. Goodbye to the periods of self-doubt and self-deprecation. And no longer am I unclear about who I am and where I am going.

These are exciting times!

So as we all ready ourselves, to sing the well-known Auld Lang Syne, I smile at the bittersweetness of this time. For although there were tough roads and tears shed in 2017, it was intermingled with pops of sheer & utter JOY! And so I shall miss 2017! Those moments of sunshine & mountaintops, as wells as those dark, gloomy valley days… for they have propelled me into knowing who I truly am.

A new year awaits me… and you… I eagerly step through the door and into the new experiences that shall come with 2018. Per my usual, I don’t set resolutions, but I do have clear and high expectations for 2018. I’m excited to see the germination of seeds planted oh so long ago!

I’m proud of this new me – the one who is no longer waiting to live life. The one who appreciates and is grateful for this life she’s living, right now, in this moment! No longer waiting for a husband or a baby to define me – trusting that I AM ENOUGH… and when the husband and baby do come (for come they shall), they will come to complement this wonderful (though far from perfect) life I’m living.

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Until Next Time,

Dr. Donna

Finding Me…

I was looking through my website and came across these random, (not) posted thoughts:

my similarities to the sun

  • sometimes overshadowed by clouds
  • occasionally eclipsed by the moon
  • but always living to rise to a new dawn

I started this list – Three years ago… wow… that would have been 2014.

Some things are the same about me and my every day existence – yet I feel different! Probably because the lens that I view life through, has changed.

Even though on the outside everything looks status quo, I can feel what would be missed by the naked eye and random observer.

No longer do I feel like I’m wandering aimless and purposeless.

No longer do I feel in the shadows, eclipsed, or overlooked.

I have found my voice. I have found my stride. And I’m excited for what the future holds!

It is a new dawn indeed! But this reality is better than I ever could have imagined! Because before I was waiting to acquire things or a certain status to feel peaceful, happy, and whole. But lo and behold, I have arrived to my happy place – and it didn’t happen because of a material possession, relationship status, or career promotion.

It’s comforting to know that this secure place is nestled inside of me – forever mine!

Rebirth: Dancing Out of the Ashes

For most of 2016 I haven’t posted to this blog… Was it that there wasn’t much to say? Or that I had outgrown this venture… No that wouldn’t quite describe my recent activities because while some things have changed, others have remained the same –

I’m still waiting on God to meet my husband and start my biological family…

Having to wait so long was starting to take its toll, hence the gut wrenching tears that found their way from the depths of my soul out of my eyes, at the start of 2016… But then something shifted…

I began school to become a dance minister (November 2015) and it stirred something within me – something that had always been there but had finally made its way to the surface… I really wanted to pursue my passion for dance.

So writing was neglected as I chased my love of dance. 2016 found me studying to become a dance minister, taking dance classes at a local dance studio, and even enrolling as a dance minor student at a local university! There was dance, dance, and MORE DANCE! AND I Loved it! Ballet, Jazz, Modern, and Hip Hop!

I felt invigorated and more alive than I had ever felt!

  • I graduated from dance ministry school in October 2016 (…even completed my dance final on pointe (who would have thought I’d be back in toe shoes! Haven’t danced in toe shoes since the age of 10!!))
  • I have continued with my university dance minor (I’m about half way through!)
  • And at the end of this month I will be performing a ballet piece with my local dance studio

My dance love and purpose have given me inspiration and hope, as I continue to wait for my husband and family… It appears that dance, in many ways, brought me BACK TO LIFE…

And now that I’ve gotten so many things accomplished with dance, I figured it was time to get back to writing – which means blogging more regularly and working on two different book ideas.

I guess that’s all for now. But how serendipitous that I am writing my first entry, in quite some time, on the day that the Savior arose from the dead. Maybe it’s symbolic.

“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.”
― Gerard Way

 

“The phoenix must burn to emerge.”
― Janet Fitch

 

“When love awakens in your life, in the night of your heart, it is like the dawn breaking within you. Where before there was anonymity, now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before in your life there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you used to be jagged, now you are elegant and in rhythm with your self. When love awakens in your life, it is like a rebirth, a new beginning.”
― John O’Donohue

 

 

 

Which one is it? Problem, Challenge, OR Opportunity?

I woke up early this morning ready to begin my day. I stood in the mirror going through my typical routine. During this time, I usually allow my mind to wander as it may. On this day, various thoughts ran through my mind. I thought about my soon to be published children’s book, I thought about the bloated look I want to get rid of around my torso, and I even thought about the fact that I was feeling quite happy this morning. I paused to ponder that last thought a bit more. I was HAPPY… not sure why, but I was… It wasn’t because my problems miraculously disappeared and it definitely wasn’t because I somehow found a way to put aside all rumination about my difficulties.

I was happy because it that particular moment all was well. And as long as I didn’t veer into the past or too far into the future, I could feel happy.

Isn’t it funny how HAPPINESS can be achieved by staying in the PRESENT MOMENT? I once heard a speaker say: “your mind is your most powerful tool.” He also noted that the MIND is so powerful that in the bible it is stated that we worship the Lord with our mind.

And the bible isn’t the only source that discusses the mind’s strength; take a look at a few famous quotes:

  • Not he is great who can alter matter, but he who can alter my state of mind” – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Poet
  • How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most” – Stephen Covey, Author
  • The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free” Charles Swindoll, Writer

So if the mind is so powerful, why aren’t we all using our minds to its fullest potential? I believe the answer to that question points to the two infamous culprits – Fear & Doubt…

Fear will cause you to be frozen, immobilized from taking any necessary steps forward

And Doubt will cause you to question yourself so that even when you take a necessary step forward you stop in your tracks or even turn back to retreat to the familiar.

However, success, in any endeavor and towards any goal will require you to use the strength and power of your own mind to overcome fear and conquer doubt!

I leave you with these lyrics from the song Hold On by James Fortune & FIYA. I hope it encourages you on your journey –

Know that flowers bloom when rain falls

You just hold on

The tears may come, but stand to the end

Remember you CAN succeed in spite of the fear and despite the doubts!

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

www.donnadoctora.com

Twitter: donnadoctora6