2017… what a year…

I began the year sick and I’m finishing the year… you guessed it – sick… SMH! Sounds like not much has changed – and yet so much has DRASTICALLY changed!

During these last 12 months I have grown in many immeasurable ways, but I will try to quantify them here:

  • I am able to do a left split
  • I climbed Stone Mountain in 24minutes & felt strong
  • Although I’ve been a dancer my whole life, this was the year I danced with full abandon & a smile
  • I returned to work full time for the school system, so that I’ll have predictable income to reach my savings goal!
  • There was local and domestic travel (fun times)
  • I reconciled and strengthened several family bonds
  • There was a slew of dance rehearsals for my various dance performances
  • I began building my own comunidad (community) and it feels awesome to have the support (no longer wandering alone (except when I choose to))
  • And there was a TON of concerts, broadway shows, and movies. Just a few of my favorites were: Movies– Wonder Woman, Leap, The Star, / Broadway– Annie, Finding Neverland, / Concerts– For King & Country, Anthony David, & Fantasia

Through it all… what I take away from this year is a newfound and hard-earned love and appreciation of who I am. I walk with an air of confidence in my capabilities and my purpose. However, thanks to all of the struggles, that confidence doesn’t spill over into the realm of arrogance. I will never forget the struggles for they keep me humble…

There’s something to be said for the season when I women truly comes to understand her value and her worth. The essence of Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman poem captures what I’m referring to – this place of knowing who you are so intimately that it radiates for others to see… I am in that season…

Gone are the days of running from anxiety and hiding in the shadows of depression. Goodbye to the periods of self-doubt and self-deprecation. And no longer am I unclear about who I am and where I am going.

These are exciting times!

So as we all ready ourselves, to sing the well-known Auld Lang Syne, I smile at the bittersweetness of this time. For although there were tough roads and tears shed in 2017, it was intermingled with pops of sheer & utter JOY! And so I shall miss 2017! Those moments of sunshine & mountaintops, as wells as those dark, gloomy valley days… for they have propelled me into knowing who I truly am.

A new year awaits me… and you… I eagerly step through the door and into the new experiences that shall come with 2018. Per my usual, I don’t set resolutions, but I do have clear and high expectations for 2018. I’m excited to see the germination of seeds planted oh so long ago!

I’m proud of this new me – the one who is no longer waiting to live life. The one who appreciates and is grateful for this life she’s living, right now, in this moment! No longer waiting for a husband or a baby to define me – trusting that I AM ENOUGH… and when the husband and baby do come (for come they shall), they will come to complement this wonderful (though far from perfect) life I’m living.


Until Next Time,

Dr. Donna

Birthday Musing – Life Reflections…

Yesterday was my birthday and 6 guys from my past called to wish me Happy Birthday… yup that’s right – SIX! I was somewhat astounded. There were calls, text messages, Facebook messages, and even a Group Me message. It seemed they left no stone unturned. At least half of that number I expected, as we have remained friends post-relationship. But the other half, that caught me by surprise. My inward response was: “wow you remembered my birthday?!”

The upside to these resurgences from the past was it echoed quite loudly the notion that people remember me, even after the relationship is no longer. That’s pretty cool, because I think it’s an innate human desire to know that you’re not forgotten and have left an imprint/mark! But there is also a downside to this unexpected attention. Visits from past ghosts brought with it trips down memory lane. Their gestures to wish me birthday blessings left me haunted. As I replayed each relationship over in my head, I confidently confirmed that none was a good fit. But when it was all said and done, I was still single and I left wondering “when will I meet my right fit?”

Some people get bummed by birthdays, afraid that the added year means “they’re getting old”. Not me, because each year usually means a new year of EXCITEMENT! As I mentally scrolled through the last few birthdays: at 35 it was a photo shoot in NYC & girlfriends dinner, at 36 it was a photo shoot & weekend getaway in Florida, at 37 it was a weekend of parties, at 38 a girlfriend spa weekend at the Ritz Carlton in Arizona, at 39 a professional photo shoot in Atlanta, at 40 an overnight spa trip, and at 41 I jumped out a plane. And this list doesn’t even take into account the plans that the “then” boyfriend(s) had planned for my special day!

So based upon my track record, I was all stoked and ready to receive 42 with open arms. I had the ultimate adventure planned, but then my plans had to change. I am saving for a really big upcoming expense, which means the responsible thing to do would be to stay local and grounded, on my birthday. Bummer!

I rebounded from my initial plans and did a really good job of enjoying my local birthday (took myself out to an early breakfast at a French Bistro and then midday lunch at a Mexican restaurant that I’ve never been to). But my ex’s… ah my ex’s… their resurfacing has me questioning myself. The relationship has ended. Have I changed any since then? Am I making any traction or am I just running on a treadmill going nowhere? Is my life progressing or am I stuck?

I don’t know that I discovered the answer… but I trust that time is the wonderful revealer of all things. So I will just have to be patient and wait to see how things pan out. A year or two from now, it’ll be interesting to see where I am and what I’m doing (in life).

Single Woman Chronicles

The Earnest Prayers of A Single Woman…

It was New Year’s Eve morning and I began the morning with a BANG! Not the type of explosion associated with fireworks and festivities. Instead I found myself on my knees in prayer. I began the eve, the dawn of a new year – a new season – on my knees. That alone causes me pause, yet even more draw dropping was the message within my plea to God. I was crying. One of those hushed weeping, body slightly trembling, tears falling, kind of cries. There I was crying and I said:

God please let my husband know I Am Praying For Him… God please SEND MY HUSBAND!

As I said those words, the stream of liquid coming out of my eyes, intensified. It felt as if every pore and every cell of my body – desired that request. I was finally ready to meet my life partner. I was finally ready to enter into a marriage covenant with God and that man; the one I was designed to help.

Now I should pause this story to share that the craziest part of this whole entire experience was that, in that particular moment I was single. I was praying for a man who didn’t even exist – and yet I could feel him, AS IF he already did!

You may now be curious… what is the impetus to all of this?

I met a man. Those four words are not that amazing but, and this is a monumental BUT, this man came at a time when I was starting to falter in my hope about my future. I didn’t know if anything would materialize with This man, for I had met many men during this journey called dating. However, this man’s presence reminded me of three things:

  • God’s peace endures – These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world (John 16:33 KJV)
  • God is a GOD of HOPE so don’t give up (ever) – My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him (Psalm 62:5 KJV)
  • God will fulfill every single promise he’s made over your LIFE – The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:24 NIV)

May this eve of a New Year find you in hopeful anticipation of all that shall be in 2016!

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna


Twitter: donnadoctora6


P.S. If you missed my December 31st 2014 and January 1st 2015 posts, here they are:



“Persist with a heart full of gratefulness for what you’ve overcome (the past) and what you have yet to accomplish (your future)!” From Dr. Donna 


“Home” for the Holidays

We are in the throes of yet another holiday season. The holidays are a time that people often reflect on their life and their families. The idea of family is closely tied to the idea of home. While in my own process of deep thought I pondered this notion of “home”. What is “home”? This is a particularly relevant question for me as I am in the process of moving, yet another holiday season. Since returning to Georgia, in 2011, I have moved every single December, as if the characteristic of a nomad has somehow been adopted into my persona. However, I wasn’t always a drifter.

There was a point in life where I remained situated in the same home. I prided that home and took the time and care to clean, paint, and decorate that dwelling. I also made sure to coordinate and accentuate the décor with favorite knickknacks, figurines, and pictures. In fact, I was quite careful about ensuring that my home was filled with all of the right elements. However, I know I’m not the only one, as many of you will be able to relate. So many of us dedicate precious time to the details of our home, because as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz said: “there’s no place like home”. However, there came a time that I decided to leave my home and walk away from it all.

In the process of selling my home, I decided to go for a clean slate – so I gave away furniture, curtains, essentially everything. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the action of getting rid of my home and its beautiful objects, was symbolic of me shedding my reliance on material things to fill my home. It would be a few years before the ramification of what I did would hit me. I had got rid of everything external and was only left with what was on the inside!

Being left with only my internal resources, forced me to take stock of who I was: the good and the bad. Through that process, I came to a powerful conclusion – I finally accepted me, the lovable and even the not so lovable parts. Another realization that I had was the idea that “there is no place like home”, however, that “home” is not an external building. Instead that home is the body that encases the essence of “you”. Once you’re “comfortable with the skin you’re in”, then you’ll always feel at home (no matter where you are) because you’ve come to realize that “home is where the heart is” and that heart is within you!

I initially started this entry talking about my nomadic moving patterns. It may seem counterintuitive that it was during this time of excessive moving and lack of external stability, that I learned the most about me (the me that is within). However, a quote from the Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer, does a nice job of summing up my experience. He states: “No matter what happens, just enjoy the life that comes to you” because that is the path to unconditional happiness.

So as I stand here amidst the mountain of packed boxes, I eagerly anticipate the life that is coming to me, next.

May this holiday season be a time that you reflect on your own (internal) “home”, and the actions you take to fill it.

Find the Love Balance… A Continual process…

There’s the old adage that relationships take work… but why is that? Does it have anything to do with the fact that we were warned by our mothers, as the Shirelles sang in 1961: Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQlImg2bm28

Maybe… But there has to be another reason…

I recently came across a picture of stick figures working to find the love balance. There they were – putting their little red hearts on the balance beams, until they were finally able to reach the point where each individual was equally invested. That picture illustrated several important relationship points:

1) Achieving balance will require the efforts and investment of BOTH parties

2) Imbalance will be inevitable, until balance is achieved

3) The process of finding balance is evolutionary – it is not a static/fixed point, which means it can and will change.

Although point #1 seemed like a no-brainer to me… I must admit, #2 and #3 did cause me to pause. Let me explain.

Point #2 points out that imbalance is a natural part of achieving balance within a relationship. So why did I find that so unsettling? After reflecting, I realized that I was hoping, in some naive way, that “the right relationship” would mean that I could avoid any and ALL uncomfortable feelings! However, not only is that impossible, I also now realize that way of existing would be limiting.

As Michael Singer explains in the Untethered Soul,

“don’t think you’d be free if you didn’t have [negative] kinds of feelings. If you can be free even though you’re having these kinds of feelings, then you’re really free – because there will always be something”.

So moral of the story, it’s important to get cozy with the idea that there will be imbalance and discomfort in a relationship. That’s okay. If both people are invested, you will work through and get to the place of balance.

Now on to point #3. That one was unsettling because it raised the idea that after putting in the hard work to achieve the balance earned in point #2, there would be moments where the whole process would have to be started all over again! Yikes! Which then leads back to my opening line about relationships requiring work.

Yes… the process of sustaining balance is a continuous one – just as the process of understanding oneself is a never-ending one. We will always need to make the conscious decision to love — love for others, love for ourselves. Each moment, of life, will beg the question of will you take the risk to be aware and learn or will you retreat into old habits and patterns?

Although I initially felt somewhat intimidated by the uncertainty involved in finding and keeping the balance in love, I now find comfort in the fact that I always have the power to choose. It is this ability of choice that leaves me feeling empowered, strengthened, and encouraged to love each and every day. And that I believe is what they call finding the balance…