GOD I’m TIRED… The Complaints of a Dream Chaser.

Sometimes life is such a lonely journey because you are the only one traveling your particular course… family, friends, loved ones can listen, empathize, and attempt to relate but have you ever had a moment where that was just not enough?

Well last night I was having one of those evenings…

I am in the midst of following a path that I believe I was destined to follow, but sometimes staying on the path is hard because of obstacles, challenges, and setbacks. Each difficulty seems to beg the question:

– Maybe you’re not on the right path Donna?

And the follow up to that question, is the thought:

– If you’re going in the right direction, why haven’t you reaped rewards for your efforts, by now?

Those questions, those doubts, the fears make it so tempting to give in, to turn back, and to give up. But if I did that then I would be sealing the coffin on my fate. Quitting is a guaranteed loss, whereas to persevere means I continue to put myself in position to win!

Yet I was still at a loss – my options seemed to be 1) continue to sacrifice and struggle while chasing dreams that seem so far-fetched and out of reach or 2) take the more realistic approach, play it safe, and take the well intentioned advice to give up my dreams…

Neither option seemed to be appealing and I went to bed with a heavy heart; a heart full of hurt that had no more tears because too many were shed during the day.

As I closed my eyes I had the final thought: “the advice they’re all giving won’t work because I’ve been doing it already. I’ve prayed. I’ve fasted. I’ve read. I attend church. I do self-care activities. I’ve waited. I’ve done everything humanly possible, so now what?” And then I remembered the line from Donnie McClurkin’s famous song Stand: “after you’ve done all you can, you just STAND!”

And as if to confirm that I am on the right track, this morning still needing some encouragement I decided to read another dream chasers story. Figured they too had experienced moments of doubt. Thought their story might inspire me. I Google’d ‘Tyler Perry and Quit Your Dreams’ and stumbled upon a 2008 post from him that said:

I am a dreamer and sometimes when you have dreams you are met with obstacles, and your dreams will start to fade. But what I’ve found is that when God has given you a dream, no matter what it is, when you want to give up and believing becomes hard, and when you can’t go any further, the dream itself will start to believe for you. The dream itself will start to carry you through with visions and hope and encouragement.

So, the new mantra for Tyler Perry Studios is “A Place Where Dreams Believe…” Don’t worry if you’re met with opposition on your path to your goals. When you’ve done all you can, stand and surrender. God will allow your dream to motivate you.

What confirmation for me that I was indeed on the right track. That others before me had felt the same moments of doubt and questioning. And to continue on my path means that in the end I will WIN!

So I intend to STAND.

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

www.donnadoctora.com

Twitter: donnadoctora6

You are a potter, life is clay… What shall you make of it?

I was recently listening to Ruben Studdard’s song “I Need An Angel.” I’ve always liked that song, but on this day my attention gravitated to these words:

Take me – Shake me – Mold Me – Change Me – Teach Me – Fill Me – Save me…

Those particular lyrics echoed in my mind as I pondered what things did I want God to change in me… Hmmm… that was a tough decision because I finally feel I am on the right path. However, if you were able to pin me down about 7 years ago, I would have had a LONG laundry list of items that I wanted God to correct!

But isn’t that the beauty of life. If we don’t like the direction it is going in, we have the ultimate power to change it! No we can’t change others and no we can’t always change our immediate circumstances, be if we START with making small changes within ourselves, it Will ultimately SHIFT EVERY Thing around us!

How awesome is that! That God gave us the ability to have choice and power to create life!

Freedom is man’s capacity to take a hand in his own development. It is our capacity to mold ourselves – Rollo May, Psychologist

A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself – James Allen, Writer

Life is a quarry, out of which we are to mold and chisel and complete a character – Samuel Butler, Author 

I think it’s pretty exciting to have that much freedom and influence over the life that we live. But I will admit it’s also pretty scary to have that much responsibility. To know that all of our choices: big and small, affect the state of our existence.

The first 30 years of my life I took for granted our ability to affect the life that we live. However, around age 30 I had a great realization! But I had to spend the next 10 years cleaning up the mess that I made in my 20s! Now that I’m 40, I intend to use the learned lessons to create the life I’ve always wanted… And I’m already in the process of doing just that!

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

www.donnadoctora.com

Twitter: donnadoctora6

I’m Not Crazy….Why Should I See a Therapist?

There is a common misconception that to darken a psychologist’s door means to admit one’s own “craziness.” However, what would seem more “insane” is to live a life with feelings of dread, incompleteness, or lack of fulfillment. Eleanor Roosevelt stated that “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” Her words so eloquently highlight that life is intended to be lived without the shadow of fear. Yet so many of us are clouded by fear… fear of what others think about us, our work, and our families. Fear about being significant and relevant on the job. Even fear about the existential question of “who am I?” Although fears are a common fact of life, particularly when we are going through various life changes, sometimes the weight of fear can leave us feeling paralyzed, unmotivated, and guilt ridden. What is one to do with this fear? The first step is to acknowledge the fear and then to accept the fact that you need not be alone as you question this journey called life. The feeling of aloneness can be alleviated through the support and guidance of a well-trained, empathetic, and encouraging therapist. Therapy is a great solution for finding an environment that will empower you to conquer your fears and face the life questions that may have only recently begun to plague you or even those that seem to have been present for some time. There is much work that can be accomplished within the therapist’s office. However, one of the greatest intangible gifts inherent to the therapy process is insight. Insight is the heightened awareness of self, as well as a greater understanding of a particular struggle/issue. Provided with the clinical know-how of an effective therapist, you can expect to experience a renewed sense of hope and exhilaration, thereby freeing you from fear and any other stumbling blocks that may be limiting your full potential. Find the courage to live your life fully. Be inspired to live out your life’s purpose. Sometimes all that is needed is to take that first step, as it is often the hardest one!

New Beginnings

Have you ever sat on the fringes of a breakthrough? In nervous anticipation of the next step that was on the horizon… Well that is where I am… right now, in this very moment. Looking ahead at a transformation that is sure to come… There is so much in the works, that I’m not even sure where to begin.

1) my memoir that is in progress

2) a budding new relationship

3) a newly born private practice

4) my improved physical health and physique

5) my head full of hair (this was not always the case!)

6) several new part-time contracting opportunities

No matter which aspect of my life that I focus on right now – I see new growth EVERYWHERE! It’s amazing, because I once obsessed over the fact that I desired to be a biological mother, by now… However, though I have not yet had a child, new life is cropping up all around me and that feels wonderful. New life in my career, New life in my relationships, and even New life on my head!

“So I decided to take a moment to appreciate the new life that is taking place all around me. To acknowledge the newness that stands before me. And to be thankful for new beginnings” Dr. Donna

 Although newness is refreshing and desired, it can also be scary because there is so much uncertainty. I believe the fear of the unknown is what keeps so many of us stuck. We are afraid to do a new thing. So we allow the familiar to bring us comfort, even when that familiarity means living a life that is lacking, wanting, and limited.

I finally arrived to a place in my life, where I decided to no longer allow fear to be the determining factor. I have made peace with the unfamiliar, trusting that with it comes the beauty of chance, potential, and newfound possibilities.

So you may wonder what has helped me to gain the courage to step out – to open myself up to new things… There have been many steps I’ve taken over the last few years to arrive at this place. However, the 3 most important things that I did, I will describe using the acronym NEW:

N Never give up – never quit. Being persistent and steadfast was indeed a very crucial part of helping me to shed all of the old dead weight so that I could move into this new phase of life. Never accept never… In other words, even when you hear a no – keep going until you get a yes!

E Energize – finding things to renew my energy and my strength was a pivotal piece. My hobbies, my talents, and my faith in God each have helped to restore me when my energy was depleted.

W Wish and Wait without Worry – This last one was the hardest of them all for me… Getting to a place where I continued to wish (have hope) and wait (have patience) for the things I desired without feeling angst and worry that things had not happened yet, was indeed Tough! However, I have learned that finding that place of peace within is an important step in getting one’s heart’s desires.

So I sit here typing my first blog post and reflecting at all of the other new beginnings in my life. It feels great to be at the starting point of this new phase in my life journey.