Mother’s Day… Joy or Pain?

It’s Mother’s Day and I am smiling…

Smiling at the potential and the promise inherent in my tomorrows!

This day reminds me of this life lesson:

Life is a path – we each get to decide the course we want to travel upon…

Path A

For me this is a day of Joy… I decided to spend the day learning how to crochet, as I intend to crochet during my pregnancy.

No I’m not pregnant but I expect that one day I shall be… See I choose to live my life from a seat of expectancy – trusting that the things I desire will come to me. I refuse to allow disappointment to darken the way that I see my future!

 

Path B

Sadly this is not the perspective that all take. I have several friends who actually dread mother’s day. They view the day as an indictment of their non-maternal status. This day reminds them of all that they don’t have…

The moral… One can choose to focus on what has not happened or one can set their sights on all the future possibilities. I’m sticking with Path A! Because on this road I am greeted by peace, light, and love.

I wish I could share this joy with each of my friends, especially the ones that struggle on a day like today – but we all must choose for ourselves.

May you join me, in always choosing the path to Happiness!

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

2017… what a year…

I began the year sick and I’m finishing the year… you guessed it – sick… SMH! Sounds like not much has changed – and yet so much has DRASTICALLY changed!

During these last 12 months I have grown in many immeasurable ways, but I will try to quantify them here:

  • I am able to do a left split
  • I climbed Stone Mountain in 24minutes & felt strong
  • Although I’ve been a dancer my whole life, this was the year I danced with full abandon & a smile
  • I returned to work full time for the school system, so that I’ll have predictable income to reach my savings goal!
  • There was local and domestic travel (fun times)
  • I reconciled and strengthened several family bonds
  • There was a slew of dance rehearsals for my various dance performances
  • I began building my own comunidad (community) and it feels awesome to have the support (no longer wandering alone (except when I choose to))
  • And there was a TON of concerts, broadway shows, and movies. Just a few of my favorites were: Movies– Wonder Woman, Leap, The Star, / Broadway– Annie, Finding Neverland, / Concerts– For King & Country, Anthony David, & Fantasia

Through it all… what I take away from this year is a newfound and hard-earned love and appreciation of who I am. I walk with an air of confidence in my capabilities and my purpose. However, thanks to all of the struggles, that confidence doesn’t spill over into the realm of arrogance. I will never forget the struggles for they keep me humble…

There’s something to be said for the season when I women truly comes to understand her value and her worth. The essence of Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman poem captures what I’m referring to – this place of knowing who you are so intimately that it radiates for others to see… I am in that season…

Gone are the days of running from anxiety and hiding in the shadows of depression. Goodbye to the periods of self-doubt and self-deprecation. And no longer am I unclear about who I am and where I am going.

These are exciting times!

So as we all ready ourselves, to sing the well-known Auld Lang Syne, I smile at the bittersweetness of this time. For although there were tough roads and tears shed in 2017, it was intermingled with pops of sheer & utter JOY! And so I shall miss 2017! Those moments of sunshine & mountaintops, as wells as those dark, gloomy valley days… for they have propelled me into knowing who I truly am.

A new year awaits me… and you… I eagerly step through the door and into the new experiences that shall come with 2018. Per my usual, I don’t set resolutions, but I do have clear and high expectations for 2018. I’m excited to see the germination of seeds planted oh so long ago!

I’m proud of this new me – the one who is no longer waiting to live life. The one who appreciates and is grateful for this life she’s living, right now, in this moment! No longer waiting for a husband or a baby to define me – trusting that I AM ENOUGH… and when the husband and baby do come (for come they shall), they will come to complement this wonderful (though far from perfect) life I’m living.

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Until Next Time,

Dr. Donna

Jealous Paparazzi

What a season this has been!

In the midst of my own struggles, several family members have attempted to slander my name… I didn’t think it could happen in my family, thought we would be immune to the human condition of jealousy and envy. But alas, we are not.

For a few days it left me confused, hurt, and distraught – as my mind attempted to rationalize why would someone related to me desire to hurt me? What could they gain from my demise?

And then I ran across this quote from German composer Johannes Brahms:

“Those who enjoy their own emotionally bad health and who habitually fill their own minds with the rank poisons of suspicion, jealousy and hatred, as a rule take umbrage at those who refuse to do likewise, and they find a perverted relief in trying to denigrate them.”

It made perfect sense… because I always strive to seek the positive, surround myself with positive, and exude positivity – so those who have not found that balance within themselves will attempt to degrade and malign me, in hopes that I would lose my focus on what is right, and good, and beautiful about life.

I am happy to report – that plan was foiled! I will admit that I shed a tear. I cried for the pain and malice that was inflicted. But then I dried my eyes I reminded myself that the only one who gets to decide how I feel – IS ME! images


I choose to surround myself with positive people

I choose to pursue the things that make my heart sing

I choose to have family and friends that support and encourage me.


Everyone and everything else [that is negative] can “kick rocks!”


In your life, if you ever run into jealousy – here are a few quotes to encourage you:

Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius”. Fulton Sheen, Catholic Bishop

Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.” Mary Schmich, American journalist

As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion.” Antisthenes, Greek philosopher

People are taken aback by a confident, pretty girl who knows what she wants in life and isn’t going to let anyone get in her way. And you know what it’s all about? Jealousy.” Summer Altice, Actress aba6f2f6b994e084c6752fddeeb38b3f

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

www.donnadoctora.com

Twitter: donnadoctora6

4th of JULY reflections – More than hamburgers, hotdogs, & fireworks!

It’s another 4th of July…

As I reflect on this day known for barbecues, time with the family, and being poolside, my mind wanders. Independence – freedom – the pursuit of happiness. It’s quite ironic that a few days ago I was reflecting on the season of life that I am in. It is a period where I am finally and truly open to change, growth, and releasing the past! So this year is a bit special. July 4th will not only be a time for remembering the freedoms fought for and that we’re still striving for, but it will also signify a turning point my life.

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Moving on to the new can be a very daunting and overwhelming task! Most may opt to remain with the familiar. However happiness, true happiness can only be obtained when we are free – when we allow ourselves the chance to seek the things that encourage our inner passions, creativity, and spirit.

This Independence Day I am channeling the sage wisdom and bravery of my ancestors to walk courageously into happiness!

So what is the first step on the path to happiness?

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It is letting go of the past hurts, pains, and even regrets… this first step is often the HARDEST but it is necessary!

I give myself permission to be happy

I give myself permission to be free

I give myself permission to be whole

I forgive those who have hurt me and …

I liberate myself from feeling any further self-blame that I allowed them to hurt me

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I am eager to see the amazing new things that will walk into my life because I am a new me. Marriage, babies, publishing books, and amassing wealth… an exciting time is on the horizon, indeed!

Well that’s my Independence story, what’s yours? What are you focused on this Fourth of July? Will you take a moment to reflect on what new pursuits will add flavor to your own life?

I hope you do!

“One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Amen”

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

www.donnadoctora.com

Twitter: donnadoctora6

HANGING by a thread… In Life and Laundry…

My task this morning was to do the laundry. The bag overflowing with clothes cued me that this routine chore was overdue. I grabbed the detergent, clutched the laundry bag, and walked out. I took several steps in the direction of my car, but realized that the bag may not survive the entire trip. It was literally hanging by a thread!

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The irony of my current situation was that at various points in the last month, I felt like I was hanging by a proverbial thread.

There were many days during the months of May and June where I felt frustrated, disappointed, and fed up! Maybe it was the agony of waiting for dreams deferred to come true. Or maybe it was that wicked bout of food poisoning followed by a week of bronchial wracked coughs. Whatever it was, I knew I felt like quitting – just throwing in the towel.

But I was rescued by a consistent support team of family and friends, who continued to believe in me even when my vision became so foggy that I could no longer believe in myself… With their encouragement I forged ahead and I began to find the strength to attend to the things I had sorely neglected during my weeks of pity, agony, illness, and despair.

There were many things I learned during this time of instability, but the greatest lesson: even superheroes need a little help. Even though I was courageous, strong, and determined – I could allow myself to lean on those I trust. My ultimate success did not need to be won by “doing it myself.”

Accepting this lesson was a monumental step for me, as I always prided myself for doing things my way, independently and without the assistance of others. However, I’ve come to realize that the truly successful don’t make it to the top because of sole might. Instead their journey was made possible because of knowing when and whom to reach out to for help.

The Greek philosopher Plato is quoted as stating: “people are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.”

It’s nice to know that in this season of my life wracked with difficulties, I am planted amongst a group of family and friends determined to see me thrive!

If you too can’t make that same assertion, it’s time to reassess those you’ve surrounded yourself with…

Just in case you’re wondering, the laundry bag made it – and so did I. But I decided to make a slight detour, on the way to the Laundromat, to buy a new bag…

Continue to grow, continue to expect, continue to believe…

Life According to Me,

Dr. Donna

www.donnadoctora.com

Twitter: donnadoctora6